Where does the time go?

I'm not only talking about the time spent between blog postings - I seem to be spending less and less time online recently which is great, but it does mean that the blog is suffering. Must try to organise something so I can still fit in a posting every other day at least.

The title of this posting also relates to the fact that my youngest 'baby' is now 5 years old. 5 years old!!! How on earth did that happen? Where do the years just whiz off to? I remember when I was a child I used to wish that time would pass quickly. I desperately wished that the years would be swiftly eaten by time so I could get out of my prison they called school. I longed for the years to stop dragging by so I could leave home and be independent. It seemed that the 12 months between each Christmas dragged on and on. So why do the days seem to whiz by at supersonic speed now I am in my prime of life? I'm not sure I like it very much, but I shall hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

On 30th June 2005, I went into labour.

I had planned a home birth all along (having had an unplanned birth with Tiegan). I had had a big juicey bite of the home-birth cherry and adored the taste. The relaxing environment, the long soak in my own bath, the snuggling up in my own bed.  Nothing could beat it.  I knew that is what I wanted with my 4th baby, so I planned the ideal home-birth for me, with military precision. I was organised, confident and utterly relaxed that all would go to plan. *Big Sigh*.

Contractions started to come on thick and fast and I rang the hospital to announce the onset of labour.

"I'm sorry Mrs P, but you can't have a home-birth, we have no midwives available to attend."

Argh!!! I said that I wouldn't make it to hospital on time (a 45 minute or so drive around winding coastal roads, plus the delay of waiting for my parents to come over to look after my other children). I was told to relax, not to worry, and an ambulance would be dispatched to arrive with me as soon as possible - but we were to make our way to hospital and meet it on route. Oh joy. I phoned my parents - it was late at night and I strangely felt awkward about disturbing them. They rushed to get dressed so they could come over, and in the meantime my waters broke over the living room carpet and the contractions became more severe.   As my parents arrived the phone rang. It was the hospital - they now had an available midwife, so there was no need to go in.  I didn't know how to feel at that point. Relieved that I would be getting the home-birth, but confused as it hadn't gone to the plan. My head was all over the place.

We waited.

I gasped for breath and writhed with contraction pain.

We waited.

No midwife.

No ambulance.

My husband went down the driveway anxiously looking for the midwife (our house wasn't the easiest to find at the time). Nothing. No sign.

I hung out of the bedroom window searching, please arrive soon. I had gone through the last birth experience without gas and air relief, and the knowledge that gas and air was on the way this time was the one thing keeping me going.  It will be here soon, it will be here soon, was all I could think of as I searched desperately for sign of assistance.

Nothing.

Suddenly I knew that things were progressing. I felt the urge to push. I shouted to my dad to go and get my husband.

I needed him with me.  I was scared.  Could I do this alone?

I lay on the bed. This was it. Only I could do this and I had to sort my head out. Suddenly I was focused. It was like a switch had flicked on in my mind. Concentrate, focus, relax, do it. My husband phoned the hospital - where is the midwife? Where is the ambulance? Both are on their way he was assured. But the baby is coming! Don't be silly he was told, it will be ages yet! But it won't be. Baby's head was showing.

The rest you can guess. Baby was cuddling me skin to skin by the time the midwife arrived, the cord was still attached. The ambulance never showed. It was a blissfully amazing experience and one I deeply treasure with all my heart.

At 7 hours old...

At 10 days...

On his 5th Birthday...

Callum adds a bright sparkle to each and every day. He is funny, has an amazing laugh, is fiercely independent and loves hugs. He says "I love you" at random intervals, smiles the sweetest of smiles, delights in the simplest of things, and he loves life with an enviable passion.

Callum, you came into our lives 5 years ago. Your entrance was dramatic (for us) and oh so wonderful. Since that day you have filled our days with so much joy, laughter and happiness. We love you xxxx