... literally.
I think this was one of the worst nights I have ever experienced to date. And I hope it will stay so, because I do not wish my worst enemy to go through things that I just went through. Maybe when I tell the story, it won't sound that horrific, but for me, it was.
The story begins with me staying home for today since I'm still ill. I'm recovering, but slowly. And I couldn't do much, because my head feels like it weights trice as much as "usual", so I decided to fix a little on my architectural model which should be done by Wednesday. I was pretty deep into working as I heard some heavy coughing from the living room. It repeated a few times and then stopped. And I didn't think about it any further. But then since I knew that only Jessy and me were home, and realizing that the coughing keeps repeating, I got pretty worried. By that time it already passed 5pm.
My mum also arrived shortly afterwards, and gave him some medication which didn't have any use as we realized later on. At about 10pm, we all went to bed, and as the silence filled the rooms, you could clearly hear all the coughs coming from my baby, and they were getting stronger and stronger by any minute, until it grew into a huge agony.
He started gasping for air in between the coughs, and my dad started to panic already - "Look what you have done! You've been here all day long and didn't take him to the vet! Look at him now, he's DYING!"; And as he said those words, one little piece of my soul, heart, my whole being died, because I felt such guilt, because every single word he said was true! ... and because any thought of Jessy not being with me, no matter how little that thought was - killed me.
While on the inside I was tearing myself apart, and going through the day tausend times, and asking myself why didn't I react any earlier, from the outside I gave a strong impression and kept calm and called the emergency. Luckily one vet was available, and he wasn't far away at all, so we rushed there in our car as fast as we could.
Once arrived, I kind of felt a relief since I knew that soon I'll know what is going on. The doc said that everything will be okay, he just caught a big cold, but that everything will be fine in a few days. My baby got three injections, and got all high soon afterwards, and was all floppy in my hands as we drove back home, but there was not a single cough to be heard! I couldn't stop crying at that point.
As I already said, it might not sound that tragical, but I felt like I was going through pure hell, plus on a roller coaster!
I know that THAT day will arrive sooner or later, and I really hope it will be very, very late, because I still don't plan, nor EVER will, on letting him go, or giving him up. For nothing in this whole universe I would do that. He is my all and only, and nothing will ever be able to replace it.
It is so unbelievable how little things can make you happy , like, for example, now
watching him sleep peacefully.
Sweet dreams!
Love, Aleksandra.
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