If it is possible to sink to an even lower low after 2 1/2 months of waiting... it came last night. I suspected that my agency had submitted the wrong application to court for my documents but had no way to check since I didn't have a copy of it and they kept telling me, "don't worry, the copy of the document that we submitted is fine" and I swallowed hard and TRUSTED them - I trusted my facilitator, my agency... I trusted all of them... Well, it's not fine... it's not fine at all. I am about at my breaking point with things. It turns into a fast game of "CYA" and finger pointing while tossing anyone within firing range under the bus for whose fault it is (facilitator, agency, lawyer, judge, too many communications, the system, too expensive to have a lawyer review it)... all I know is that it isn't mine and it isn't that precious little boy waiting in Russia for his mama... and I also know that it isn't my job to figure out that there is a mistake at all... but thank God I did - in the nick of time. See, my 8 doctor medical is only good for 3 months (March 28th which is a Sunday so actually the 26th) and my documents need to be in front of the judge before that or I have to make another trip (or stay in country for 6 or 7 weeks all by myself... not able to visit my boy... that sounds like a great way to spend time no??? This has been sold to other families as a "great way to get to know more about your childs home land - use the opportunity to immerse yourself in the culture" - wow...) I digress. I came home last night, picked up the mail and there was a pkg from my agency - I knew it was my court documents. I didn't feel giddy or anything at all really... which is what this process has resulted in emotionally... flat - uncomfortably numb. After 27 months, I don't really feel much of anything. I opened it to be greeted with the top page "application to court" and it is the wrong one. I immediately call the director and she calls me back saying that she will try and confirm with the facilitator and get back to me. At 10 pm last night I start a stream of emails urgently requesting a new application to court be couriered to them. The program administrator said she would call me first thing in the morning to let me know if the old one that I sent in and that is on file is the same as the new request. I thought that perhaps this "little emergency" might spur someone on to arrive at the office early to let me know ... There is a one hour time difference between us so when an early call didn't come I fully expected to hear from them by 10am (9am their time). I finally called there at 10am their time to be greeted with, "Hi Stacey, I was JUST going to call you... let me get your file out" (they hadn't even looked to see if they had the right document on file). They don't have it and will get it to the courier when the new ones I sent out today arrive on Monday. The one single document needs to be processed through DFAIT, the Russian Consulate and then courriered back to Russia to be translated, legalized and presented to the judge... in under 2 weeks... or I do not pass go, do not collect $200 just go directly back to Russia to do my medicals over again to the tune of a 2 grand airplane ticket and probably 3 useless days in country... wasting time, wasting money, wasting available resources that I should have to spend with and on my son. I am furious. I don't much care whose falut it is - I just care that I pay a team of professionals to ensure these things don't happen. I shouldn't have to play Nancy Drew to make sure their i's are dotted and t's crossed. All of this re-processing and after it is finally presented to the judge she still may request more documents and set me back yet another 2+ weeks. The chance that he'll be doing long division by the time I get back to him is getting greater every day. I just don't get how other agencies can get their people back in 3 months between trips and we can't even get my documents submitted in that time??? There was not a wasted day on my side - they even said they were surprised at how quickly I pulled everything together... they told me that the process of re-doing the document is expensive for them too so everyone feels the pinch. I told them that it is not possible for me to stay in country alone for 7 weeks but... really, who cares... AP's are loaded so they can afford the time off work and extra cash to make up 3 extra weeks in Russia or an entire additional trip. But hey, Stacey, we're disappointed about this too... right... bet you didn't get 3 hours sleep last night because you bawled and got SFA done at work today because I'm not sure how to get past being absolutely disenchanted, disheartened, disappointed, deflated, discouraged, and defeated (I'm all out of d words to that will have to do). I guess the ends justifies the means... I just want to get back to bring my boy home. Again, thank God that I caught this error in the nic of time - just a couple more days and it would be impossible to get the documents back to Russia... now it's just really really tight... but hey, I guess I live on adrenaline in this process - perhaps they think I like it... NEWS FLASH!!! I DON'T!!! So, this should make my shower either a much needed pick me up tomorrow or even more numbing... like everything else in this process... time will tell... time will tell. Could use some positive vibes, prayers or voo doo dolls. Unbelievable.
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